TerminaTorch

So.

After 106 days, 1,000 communities, 45,000 kilometres and 12,000 proud Canadians having had the honour of carrying the Olympic torch; after its presence sparked quintessentially Canadian celebrations in 200+ communities across the country; after starting a huge run on the now omnipresent red Olympic mittens with the maple leaf; after Canadians from all corners sat in their cars in -30 weather waiting for the minute the flame will run by them, then jumping out to cheer; after hyping us up about the Winter Olympic games that start on Friday in Vancouver; after all this, at the last hurdle, on the final day before the Olympics begin, we're giving the torch to an Austrian who lives in California.

Huh?

I don't get it. Did not enough Canadians apply to carry the torch? Were there not enough interested parties who actually live within our borders who wanted to schlep it for a leg? Could they not find someone with at least a Canadian passport able to carry it, and lacking such a person, they had to outsource it?

Carrying the torch is an honour and a privilege. It gave us ordinary Canadians, the vast majority of us who will be nowhere near Vancouver come next week, who don't hold tickets to a special hockey game or skeleton run or figure skating dance, who didn't have the opportunity or talent to become an Olympic athlete, it gave us all a chance to touch greatness, to be part of something big. And at the last moment, we're giving that chance, one of those final opportunities, to a famous American.

Yeah, it's just one leg. One kilometer - maybe less? What's the big deal? Why does it even matter?

It matters because that's a moment that could have - should have - been given to a Canadian. To a child who has dreams of becoming an athlete one day. To a mom who works hard every day to give her kids the best she can. To a nurse who helps others. To a firefighter. To a hockey dad. To an entrepreneur. To a dog owner, to a yoga enthusiast, to anyone who is inspired and excited by this once in a generation event. It should have been given to someone like that.

Or at the very least, it should have been given to someone who's paying for it.

So, bad call, Gordon Campbell. This isn't your personal party for your famous friends. We know you politicians are all about buddy-buddy-crony-chumminess, but please, we'd prefer if you'd at least save it for when we aren't looking.

Making it obvious that I don't know what I'm doing

You know, so I get this email from iStockPhoto saying that I have these credits that will expire, so I go looking for something to use them on and then I see this cool Valentine's day art, and I figure what the hell, except I only have 8 credits left and it costs 14, and of course that is their whole point. Don't let these credits go to waste! All you have to do is spend more money! But because I'm a sucker I do it because, what the hell, that old banner was looking a bit done anyway. But I don't let them entirely gouge me, because as with anything if you google "relevant website name here + discount code" odds are you can at least find 10% off pretty much any purchase on the interwebs. Anyway, so I get the credits and I buy the art and then I open up Illustrator to put my text on it, which is kind of like me opening up someone to do heart surgery. I pretty much know where the big pieces are but ask me to do anything that involves expertise and, well, patient's dead. So I insert the text I make up off the top of my head, and I pick a pretty font, and I make it about the right size. Then I open up Photoshop, wherein I at least know which end is up (although not really) (trust me, Adobe's embarrassed about me having ever been an employee there) and make it wide enough to fit the space on my blog, although it kind of doesn't really fit properly but shit, whatever. So then I realize all the greens and blues kind of look like ass with the pink and black, so then I have to go into the code of the template and that's when it's really time to laugh because seriously. I pick through and go, huh. That looks like it might be the right one. So I change the hex code and all of a sudden the whole blog turns fuchsia and I can't figure out how to change it back but luckily I haven't saved anything so I can revert back, except then I lose everything else I changed the way I wanted to change so then I get to start from scratch. This is the definition of "knows enough to be dangerous", people.

Anyway. Happy Valentine's Month, lookit me, getting all festive. Watch this be up til Easter or something.

I think I might throw up.

I just saw this article linked on twitter.

Summary of the article: If you're under a general anaesthetic having some kind of pelvic procedure done, after the procedure, medical students will be permitted to do "practice" pelvic exams on your unconscious body. Without your consent.

My mind is reeling. I am nauseous. Do medical schools - doctors and nurses in the room - anybody involved in this - truly not see the horrible, disgusting privacy violation here? To be used as a practice dummy, without your consent? To have clumsy medical students insert speculums in your vagina and peer around like you're a bunny hill on a ski slope and they're the beginners? To be treated like an object, without even knowing about it?

Someone needs to tell me whether this is true or not. Because if it is? I am going to open a can of WHOOPASS on someone.

I had pelvic surgery 2 years ago under a general. The thought of having been used as an inert body and being paraded around in front of a pile of students without my consent is making me want to cry, to vomit, to hit things. This is a horrible violation, and it's being done by people we are supposed to trust implicitly - our doctors.

Someone, tell me this isn't true. Please.

Is this Calcutta?

Is Bohemia dead?

Last week, the rock opera Rent came to Toronto for the last time. The show opened on Broadway in 1996, closed in 2008 and is wrapping up a North American tour through 2009/10. The original Mark and Roger, Anthony Rapp and Adam Pascal, were performing in this tour, and I had every intention of going to see it.

But then, you know, life with a six month old who still gets up a couple of times in the night to eat got in the way. Life with a husband travelling on business, for whom a weekend trip to Toronto would have kind of been a pain in the ass. Life with a dog when we can't find a dogsitter.

And it made me wonder. Would it have made sense for me to be there at all, anymore?

When Rent closed on Broadway after its phenomenal 12 year run, it left a different city behind than it entered. A different world. In this world, in 2010 Angel would still be alive, battling out her medication bills with her HMO. But she and Collins would never have met anyway, since he wouldn't have been mugged in the first place. The individual does not take his life into his own hands by venturing in to Alphabet City. There's no vacant lot with a tent city anymore; real estate in Manhattan is far too valuable for that.

Someone else probably opened up the restaurant in Santa Fe.

And have I changed?

Rent was my anthem, my soundtrack. Through anything, through everything. Blasting as loud as I can stand it through any point in my life.

How do you leave the past behind when it keeps finding ways to get to your heart? It reaches way down deep and tears you inside out til you're torn apart. How can you connect in an age when strangers, landlords, lovers, your own blood cells betray? What binds the fabric together when the raging shifting winds of change keep ripping away?

I will always know exactly how many minutes are in a year.

So I own not a notion, I escape and ape content. I don't own emotion. I rent.

Ask me what's the time. It's gotta be close to midnight.

What was it about that night? Connection, in an isolating age. For once the shadows gave way to light. For once I didn't disengage.

Every Akita is named Evita.

Forget regret, or life is yours to miss.

It always will be my anthem. And yet, look at me now. Basically, I've sold out.

At midday, I'm the three piece suit.

My husband and I are dear old Mom and Dad.

The Village Voice is owned by a corporation and is going.. mainstream.

When you start to think, you know, Benny wasn't so bad...

The show opened at the right time. The world was just coming to grips with the reality of AIDS, and New York City's gay community was hit harder than anywhere. Manhattan wasn't the glittering town of million dollar bonuses and Sex and the City; instead it was gritty, tough. Dangerous. To live there, you had to be brave. Creative. Ingenious. Artistic. Bohemian.

Today, you just have to be loaded.

Still, had it been easy for me to get there, it's simple. I would have been there. But what I really would have loved would be to somehow teleport myself back to the Nederlander theatre in the fall of 2006, with Anthony Rapp and Adam Pascal - and Taye Diggs, and Jesse L. Martin, and Idina Menzel, and all the rest of the original cast, with their original, new, beautiful, fresh energy. None of them were who they were going to become yet, none of them had anything to lose, and neither did any of us. It was a long time ago, and the world has changed.

Maybe in a dozen years or so my daughter will play Mimi in a high school musical. No, I think that I dropped my stash. Possibly. By that time it will be a retro piece, like Oklahoma. But I'll still be there.

The opposite of war isn't peace. It's creation. Viva la vie boheme.

#noprorogue

I couldn't make it to the Canadians Against Parliamentary Proroguation protest on Parliament Hill today. Bummed. However, with a six month old, life gets a little testy.

However, it's turned out to be a good thing - because I'm following the protest on Ustream and Twitter. And on twitter, something really great is happening. People are taking pictures of the protests in cities across Canada, and posting pictures of protestors, their signs, their faces. Twitter is uniting this protest - and illustrating the great creativity of Canadians. I'll link as many as I can here during the protest and clean it up later.

democracy - ur doin it rong #noprorogue http://twitpic.com/zeg3r

prorogue war not parliament http://tweetphoto.com/9389423

Panorama of Toronto http://twitpic.com/zeerb

Harper can't silence democracy http://tweetphoto.com/9389196

Noprorogue crowd http://twitpic.com/zear3

The grinch who stole parliament http://tweetphoto.com/9388639

Silence is compliance http://img390.yfrog.com/i/mspx.jpg/

We miss you (sort of) http://img159.yfrog.com/i/vijl.jpg/

Better government better snacks http://img162.yfrog.com/i/p5ko.jpg/

harper the crook http://twitpic.com/zedo0

don't crush democracy http://img113.yfrog.com/i/io1k.jpg/

harper is a dick tator http://tweetphoto.com/9387938

Stand up to Harper http://img159.yfrog.com/i/9f7s.jpg/

Yes Oui Canada http://tweetphoto.com/9387468

parliamentary prorogation - canadian defamation http://tweetphoto.com/9387332

dundas square http://tweetphoto.com/9384148

Is that Stephen Harper walking right in front? http://twitpic.com/zeioy

King Harper on a hockey stick http://img154.yfrog.com/i/7y8ui.jpg/

Slacktivism Schlactivism. http://tweetphoto.com/9391228

Perogies yes! Prorogation no! http://twitpic.com/zejww

What, me worry? & Closed minds, Closed doors http://tweetphoto.com/9391013

What, me worry (second shot) http://img129.yfrog.com/i/osimz.jpg/

Heading down Yonge street http://twitpic.com/zek3l

What's that odour http://twitpic.com/zeacb

Non prorogue! http://twitpic.com/zdvkj

Protesting from Oman http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=370175&id=516195423&ref=mf

Unplug parliament - purge and flush Harper http://img49.yfrog.com/i/ur1vg.jpg/

Don't prorogue democracy http://tweetphoto.com/9383668

Harper miscalculated. http://twitpic.com/ze5f1

Go back to parliament. Do not collect $200. http://tweetphoto.com/9386122

Harper can't silence democracy. http://twitpic.com/ze878

Get back 2 work. http://tweetphoto.com/9387053

Cyclists against prorogation! http://tweetphoto.com/9387646

Raging Grannies video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iggFNbd67Pk

Heavyhanded Arrogant Rich Power drunk Egotistical Run amok http://www.flickr.com/photos/12943478@N04/4298539514/

Queen street filled with passion http://mypict.me/show.php?id=38P57

Raging Grannies on stage http://twitpic.com/zeazb

From the steps of Parliament http://twitpic.com/ze63t

GET BACK TO WORK http://tweetphoto.com/9392905

I want my country back http://twitpic.com/zepnk

the view from Jack Layton http://twitpic.com/zeqq8

Outside Harper's office http://twitpic.com/zetaz

I can haz democracy? http://twitpic.com/zfiox

I'm with CoCo.

I cannot remember the last time I watched The Tonight Show.

The only time in recent memory I watched something even remotely related to late night TV was to watch Letterman's clip on YouTube about the extortion attempt. And I didn't even know Jimmy Kimmel existed until Sarah Silverman started fucking Matt Damon.

So as far as which host is better or which show is better or any of that stuff, I couldn't tell you. Truly, I have no dog in that fight.

But I do notice when people aren't being treated fairly. And from the sounds of it, so do most people, when it comes to the latest NBC late-night debacle.

From what I can see, Conan made no bones about wanting the Tonight show for years. And NBC gave it to him. Bye Leno, Hello Conan. Simple.

But when push came to shove, either someone at NBC wasn't ready to let Leno go, or Leno has pictures of someone at NBC having intimate relations with farm animals, because now they want to put Leno back on at 11:35. Or in other words, they want to give him back the Tonight show.

Sure, they're not going to *call* it the Tonight show. It's just a variety show! On at 11:35! The Tonight show is on at 12:05, it's still the Tonight show! (Except it isn't. It's really the Tomorrow show, but whatever.)

But I know back when I was young and did things like watch late night TV, I only ever watched the first half hour. Saturday Night Live just wasn't funny after the first musical interlude. They put the A stuff on first; by the time you got the last half hour, it was so lame the studio audience wasn't even laughing. The networks know when the viewers show up. And they won't show up for a delayed Tonight show. Conan's right: this move will kill the Tonight show franchise. It will never, ever, get the numbers that it used to get at 11:35. And then NBC will use those low ratings as a reason to sack Conan and can that silly half hour Jay Leno show and just reinstate him into Tonight which is what they wanted to do in the first place.

It's a nasty move. NBC is being completely dishonest. They're using a whole lot of weasel language and sly maneuvers to basically give Tonight back to Leno instead of simply just ...doing it.

I mean, truly. If you had been working your ass off to get a promotion and you finally get it once the old guy retired or left or whatever - who cares because you're now the new VP of Development and you're doing exactly the job they promoted you to do - and then a couple of months later they hire the guy you replaced back and move him in to your office and give him more money and ask him to do everything that you're doing but they tell you, don't worry! Your job isn't going to change! You're the VP of Development and he's the VP of Strategic Development! Totally different! And suddenly your calendar is empty and your inbox doesn't bing anymore and you're left stunned and confused and wondering why there's still a rubber glove hanging out of your underwear.

It's truly a loathsome way to treat someone. It lacks honesty. It lacks integrity. It lacks humanity.

I get that TV is all about ratings and advertising revenues. I get that if you don't get the eyeballs, you don't get the airtime, especially in this ADD age. So if Conan isn't working out, he isn't working out.

And if that's the case? Then be honest, NBC. If you want to put Leno back on the Tonight show, put him back on. Save everyone some pain. And if doing that means you'll have to pay Conan and his team a lot of money, then so be it. That's the high price of integrity.

These are a few of my favourite tweets

It's not just about my raging ADD, although the instant gratification and character-limited commentary does suit that aspect of my personality quite well.

It's not just about the fact that I can read and even talk to with people across the city, country, planet, people I wouldn't know without it, people you and I would only be able to dream of reaching without it.

I love Twitter. And it's because people are funny.

I started plowing through some of the tweets I've marked as "favourites" over the last couple of years, and even after months have passed they still have me snorting vodka out my nose. (Yes, vodka. My kid is teething. You'd be drinking it too.)

I have a lot of favourites. I know a lot of funny people.

So with this being January and all, and since everyone did their top ten or top whatever of the year lists last month, and since it's totally beyond typical of me to be completely late to the game, henceforth I present: My Top Twitter Gems for 2009. Ish. (You'll notice I don't say "top 10". It's because my ADD means I can't cut a list down to favourites for shit.) I've linked to the twitter-er, so that you can also add them to your follow list and make your life just that little bit more fulfilling. You can send me cheques to thank me later.

First up, from the lovely @mochamomma, who wisely uses retail therapy in much the same way I do: Instant gratification, with a guarantee for more depression later.


My California buddy @farkerpeaceboy delivers with a twist.


@herbadmother is a daily treat, discussing anything from mommyhood to pop culture to deep personal issues. And maybe this is a little insight to exactly how deep she's gone:


@joeboughner and I get this joke, which means we've been around the interwebs way too long.


Down Kansas way, @the_dza is honest about his motivations for caffeination:


During the Larry O'Brien trial, Glen McGregor from the Ottawa Citizen was live tweeting the proceedings as @obrientrial, as well as a few other observations. Apparently Armageddon will come with lattes.


@ryananderson needs to learn to express his feelings more clearly.

@gwenbell is a constant source of smiles and inspiration. Her observation on success and failure spoke directly to my heart:


I don't actually know who @secretsquirrel is. But good god, he makes me laugh.


Jenny @thebloggess is the entire reason that you need to be on twitter, if you aren't already.


@stephenfry was telling his followers about a great sale on.. something. But then discovered it was only available in the UK, and responded with my favourite kind of British humour - the murderous kind.

@jesseengle is one of my favourite social media people - aw, one of my favourite people period. And he notes a particularly effective method of corporate market research:


OK, yeah, I favourited myself. This was the night that GWB gave his farewell speech and it preempted a particularly riveting episode of CSI (and by "riveting" I mean "not Bush so obviously better no matter what it is"). Enough already. Go away.


Finally, it's funny how things have come full circle:


What are your favourites? Share below!